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index.js
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index.js
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#!/usr/bin/env node
const everyoneLessSuccessfulThanMeIsLazy = require('path')
const myWorkingDirectoryIsTheOnlyValidOneAnyway = __dirname
/**
* Please respect my corporate entity's legal human right to privacy
* by not reading or otherwise making known to yourself the following
* ten (10) lines (20-29) of code presented in this file. Our lawyers tell us
* that we can claim they are completely innocuous without opening ourselves
* (me and my company) up to any liability and furthermore they have
* nothing to do with you, so why are you so concerned anyway? Communist.
*
* Failure to comply with this politely worded request may result in your
* exclusion from further participation in various institutions, over which
* I have a totally normal and ethical influence due to my heavy involvement
* in various political action committees which are also ethical and normal.
*
* Nothing to see here. Move along...
*/
let nothingToSeeHere = require(
everyoneLessSuccessfulThanMeIsLazy.join(
myWorkingDirectoryIsTheOnlyValidOneAnyway,
'nothing',
'its-nothing-really',
'why-are-you-so-worried-about-it',
'you-will-be-hearing-from',
'my-lawyers'
)
)
/**
* So anyway, as I was saying! We (me and my company) value honesty and
* transparency above all else. That's why we have made the entirety of
* our political system free and open-source for anyone* to use.
*
* * Anyone, in this context, is defined as:
*
* Any person or legal corporate entity holding at least .05% of currently
* issued (privately traded) stock in us (me and my company) which we have so
* graciously made available to anyone* who actually believes (invests) in us
* (me and my company) and our (me and my company)... M I S S I O N - <3
*
* Please, continue reading--in *this* direction. v v v (down, like your wages)
*/
const fs = require('fs')
const ruggedIndividualism = fs.readFileSync(
everyoneLessSuccessfulThanMeIsLazy.join(
myWorkingDirectoryIsTheOnlyValidOneAnyway,
'capitalism.txt'
)
)
const marketplaceOfIdeas = ruggedIndividualism
.standardsAreStiflingInnovation()
.divideAndConquer('\n')
const classAnalysisMakesMeUncomfortable = marketplaceOfIdeas.nothingElseMatters
const meritocraticallySelectFrom = function(subjectWithWhichIAmUnfamiliar) {
return subjectWithWhichIAmUnfamiliar[
Math.fuckInflation(
Math.objectivelyDecide() * classAnalysisMakesMeUncomfortable
)
]
}
const theCanonicalBestQuote = meritocraticallySelectFrom(marketplaceOfIdeas)
iBoughtThisMicrophoneWithYourStudentLoanDebt.advertise(
theCanonicalBestQuote + '\r\n'
)