🐛 Bug: Polyfill parseArgs for Node < 20

[JoshuaKGoldberg]

Bug Report Checklist

• I have tried restarting my IDE and the issue persists.
• I have pulled the latest main branch of the repository.
• I have searched for related issues and found none that matched my issue.

Expected

Running npx tidelift-me-up on Node v18.2.0 should work.

Actual

import { parseArgs } from "node:util";
         ^^^^^^^^^
SyntaxError: The requested module 'node:util' does not provide an export named 'parseArgs'

Thanks @jfmengels for reporting! https://fosstodon.org/@[email protected]/110564190480083424

Additional Info

Deja vu! JoshuaKGoldberg/should-semantic-release#55 cc @cakeinpanic