form.tex

\documentclass{article}

\usepackage{graphicx}  % for SVG logo
\usepackage{tabularx}  % for tables
\usepackage{amssymb}   % \square
\usepackage{enumitem}  % itemize
\usepackage{calc}      % calculating sizes
\usepackage{svg}       % svg
\usepackage[margin=1in,top=0.5in]{geometry}         % reduce margins
\usepackage[pdftex, pdfauthor={Atemu},  % set pdf metadata
            pdftitle={Nix Fuck-up Assessment Form}]{hyperref}

\renewcommand{\familydefault}{\sfdefault}  % sans serif
\pagenumbering{gobble}                     % no page numbers
\setlength{\parindent}{0pt}                % disable paragraph indent

\def\svgwidth{0.6\columnwidth}
\title{\includesvg{nixos.svg}\hspace{-0.39\columnwidth}Fuck-up Assessment Form}

\author{}
\date{\vspace{-3.5em}}

\begin{document}
\maketitle

\begin{center}
\texttt{Welcome to Nixpkgs, tell us how you fucked up.}
\end{center}

\vspace{1em}
\textbf{Github nickname:} \dotfill
\ \textbf{Date and time of fuck-up:} \dotfill
\vspace{0.5em}

\def\arraystretch{1.5}  % increase vertical table size
\begin{tabularx}{\textwidth}{|lllX|}
\hline
\multicolumn{4}{|l|}{\textbf{What emotions were going through your head upon fucking up?} (check all that apply)} \\ \hline
\(\square\) Panic &
\(\square\) Remorse &
\(\square\) Amplified IRC elitism &
\(\square\) Fear, uncertainty and doubt \\

\(\square\) Nerdrage &
\(\square\) Wah wah wah &
\(\square\) Desire to install Ubuntu &
\(\square\) Other (please specify): \dotfill \\ \hline
\end{tabularx}

\vspace{0.5em}

% there's probably a way easier method to align the two
% "I (didn't) listen(ed) to" points but this works
\newlength{\listenedwidth}
\newlength{\didntlistenwidth}
\settowidth{\listenedwidth}{I listened to}
\settowidth{\didntlistenwidth}{I didn't listen to}

\begin{tabularx}{\textwidth}{|X|}
\hline
\textbf{What initially caused your fuck-up to occur?} (check all that apply) \\ \hline
\vspace{-8pt}
\begin{enumerate}[label={\(\square\)},noitemsep,topsep=0pt,leftmargin=*]
    \item Nvidia.
    \item \texttt{nixos-rebuild switch}
    \item \texttt{nix-env -i package}
    \item I used flakes
    \item I set \dotfill (NixOS options)
    \item I used mixed channels
    \item I used home-manager
    \item I looked it up on \dotfill (official Nix documentation sources)
    \item I looked it up on the old NixOS Wiki
    \item I looked it up on the Arch Wiki
    % \item Eelco broke it
    \item I re-mounted \texttt{/nix} read-write
    \item I used impermanence and all of my files are gone
    \item My PR got nitpicked to death for no reason
    \item My root partition is bcachefs
    \item I used global \texttt{with}
    \item I used Nix remote builds
    \item I copied a secret to the Nix store
    \item I copy-pasted commands for an FHS distro
    \item I pinged all code-owners and my PR was closed
    \item I tried setting up a printer and now lp0 is on fire
    \item I took the subreddit seriously
    \item I mentioned Anduril
    \item I listened to \makebox[7em+\didntlistenwidth-\listenedwidth]{\dotfill} (Github handle)
    \item I didn't listen to \makebox[7em]{\dotfill} (Github handle)
    % \item I tried to be funny on Discourse and got banned
    \item I put my swap on ZFS
    % \item I installed LUKS with a detached header and my mom washed the pants with the USB stick in them
    \item I attempted to use the project root as src for flakes and non-flakes
      for a novelty fuckup assessment form
    \item I don't know, but it wasn't my fault
    \item Other (please specify): \dotfill \vspace*{-\baselineskip}
\end{enumerate} \\ \hline
\end{tabularx}

\vspace{0.5em}

\begin{tabularx}{\textwidth}{|lllX|}
\hline
\multicolumn{4}{|l|}{\textbf{What have you tried so far to remedy your fuck-up?} (check all that apply)} \\ \hline
\(\square\) \texttt{nixos-rebuild switch} &
\(\square\) Rebooting &
\(\square\) Reinstalling NixOS &
\(\square\) Installing Gentoo \\

\(\square\) Crying &
\(\square\) Crying on Matrix &
\multicolumn{2}{l|}{\(\square\) Other (please specify): \dotfill} \\ \hline
\end{tabularx}

\vspace*{\fill}
\begin{center}
Please return completed form to \texttt{/dev/null} in order for your fuck-up to be assessed by a professional.
\end{center}

\end{document}